Hungry

Soulginaenisbutthole

Our wallets have been taking shits
Isn’t that good enough?
I don’t care why its empty
I just want to fill it up
There’s pressure palming my temples
And it’s got me looking off-eyed
At my ears, finding symbols
For why I am bleeding from my
Soulgina
From my soulenis
From my soubutthole
Look at that zenith
Reaching the sky
Becoming a temple
Wondering why
It was so simple
To
Smush… smuuuush that skull into those brains
So much triangulates of pain
Releasing stars
Like a big black hole
Forgot it’s in charge
And let its guts control
Let its guts control
Its guts control

Guts control the stars

Sitting

What am I when I’m sitting?
Am I a tool?
Am I lost?
I’m using my brain, I’m typing shit
But I can never recall
What I said
It feels dead
It feels like thoughts are gone
What am I when I’m sitting?
Bountyless, boiling blood

With potential bubbling up and floating away
Levels lowering every day
I had hoped that clearing away the old shit would reveal some super special
Thoughts, some ground-breaking, sky-shattering, skull-fucking ultra
Ideas
But the ground and the sky and my mind
Are fine
They weren’t destroyed and rebuilt better
They weren’t upset, no transformation ever took place
Potential just bubbled away

When it’s night and I realize that I sat all day
With the hotseat cooking my ass
I let defeat take over me
I let uselessness last
I sleep in it
I dream in it
And when I wake, it feels just fine
Then I do it again
Again
And again
Hundreds and hundreds of times

When I sit, I don’t know what I am
But fine, fat, and stupid
Come provoke me to wise up and stand
Is the message in the mirror I plan to slam
My face into
If I can remember to

Yesterday’s Debts

I work today to pay yesterday’s debts
I pray for forgiveness too
Then draw in breaths to remind my body
What it’s like to feel goo d
I dribble the ball and pass it
I really want you to shoot
You need to know how to do this, I
Just need to survive this cruel
Adult brain
So full of debt
So full of hindlights beaming regret
On repayment
On forgiveness
Touchable things yet so distant
I feel like I can touch
The water bubbles rolling
Down those cheeks…
–
From
The people and the
Places
That I
Owe –
That’s where I go.
–
It’s like a had a hundred friends yesterday
Now I’m all alone.
–
To
The people and the
Places
That I
Owe –
You will know.
–
How much I always love you
Once the debtors fold.

Fart.

Arm in a Sling

This pain is really starting to hurt.
I am embarrassed in this shirt.
The book is never open.
The food is always frozen.

This pain is really starting to hurt.
I’m a bug unto this earth.
A loose tooth falls down my throat.
They say they love me. I say oh.

The butter’s really starting to churn.
Teachers try not to learn.
Duck, something’s flying for your head!
It isn’t truth. Truth is dead.