Mid-Thirties

If I’m lucky I’m mid-aged,
Maybe I’ll hit it big and go a bit longer?

I work double to stay the same
It’ll have to be triple if I want to get stronger

When I look ahead, I see their future
None within, none of it’s mine
I wish I had
a problem with that
But really? This is fine

I still smile back at some history
And piece by piece I pick off the edge
Everyone else can dwell in detail
While I construct a showcase for best

Then when I die
Something will stand
Glistening in my empty space…
A big ol’ metaphorical dick
That’ll stuff itself right in your face

The ? is

Now that I’m
Halfway down the path
And along the way I missed the signs
Am I half dead? Or am I only half alive?

Everything Was Better

Everything was better when you were here
I can’t seem to shake this confusion.  This fear
Cripples my mind – I have no ideas
Everything was better when you were here.

There are too many rules now
I can’t pause for break
Without wasting precious life
One mistake
Could send me back to the fucking stone age
Locked behind bars – the law is my fate
But when free, the law’s my fate anyway
I cannot control my life
It’s strange
How strangers wrote the rules
Without me
And yet I just accept the values
Of people who lived when I wasn’t born
Much less learned
Much less aware of the problems that burn
And create this confused and luminous fear

Everything was better when you were here