Poem

My Empire of Hurt

The music is here for
me now, you’re not
So think before you
open your mouth

No one controls the way I think
They just limit the way I act
Which is good because if they didn’t I’d
Be a lunatic
But sometimes I slip past their limits
Sometimes   I         slip outside
Sometimes my right eye bleeds over
And am left with everyone who’s died
I ask them questions but they don’t listen
I want to know the future so bad
They all scream at me in their instant
Need to confirm impacts they had
But I don’t recognize a face
A voice, a smell – anything
So I just let them tear at me
And eat
And eat
My sanity

I wake to find it was just a dream
FUCK!!
It was
Just
A dream
I spit up blood in the sink
And I don’t even wash it down
It feels like death is always way too busy to come around

Oh yeah I forgot, being awake sucks.

As Sweet As

We have control over the way we go
But we never know the way
We have control over the way we go
But we never know what a day
On the way will bring…

I can be as sweet as I want

I am the good guy

So say goodbye

Don’t let the shit they put you through smear the past
On the future
Just seek out what you want to get used to
And suture
The broken edges of your broken heart
Back together
And I’ll be there to umbrella the weather Together
With you
One laughter from two
Souls…

We have control over the way we go
But we never know the way
We have control over the way we go
But we never know what a day
On the way will bring…
Will it lead to a pain that stings
And if so
Is it worth it? How long will it last?
If it’s too much to stand can we ever get back
To where we started?
Will life ever become as sweet as I
Am when you’re on my mind?

Medusa

If I wanted you I could have you
It’s clear how I’d have to act
But I’m not an actor
Idon’twanttobe
I s h o u l d n o t h a v e t o b e
Woman, if you don’t like me for me
Then leave me
Alone for
I’m not someone who needs someone to hold
Though I desire
And think of you
I don’t need you here
To hold

Even though I don’t want to be left alone…

I’d rather be me
Than have my heart beat
to stone

Zeer Ohhh

Excuse me
For not be
ing able to write something
Beautiful today
But I haven’t been inspired in a
Good, long while
Or in a good, strong way
I haven’t been inspired
In any way at
all $4.00
And cents
Are meaningless
When you reject
Change
And you’re not feeling like you have that much to gain…

Any equation I’ve ever had has factored down to 0
Fading with the past… .. . . . . . my attention’s become 0
Having never learned a thing, my knowledge is 0
So when people ask my age
I just drool and mutter
Zeer ohhh….
Then I sit +
And write –
Stupid shit +
That only I +
Can read +
And understand in any way
Which is exactly why I’m = $0.00 free

Mind in a Mosh Pit

I look like you
I speak like you
I seem
Completely frozen

But I want to move fast
My mind’s in a mosh pit
Everything’s smashed
Again and again if
The beat were to stop
I would be dead
My heartbeat’s the hardcore
Stomp in my head

And when it’s time for this to show outside
When Dr. Crazyfist bursts from Hyde
I cannot explain the relief that is felt…
When the ice from my mind to my movement melts

I Confess

I confess that I’m useless
I confess that I’m not afraid
I confess that I’m powerless
I confess that it’s getting late

I confess I’m never sure
What I’m doing
That I just go
On floating
Along

I confess that I left my Mom
With an empty nest
I confess that I feel powerless
To help her deal
With that

I confess that I fear the day
When my child does the same to me
I confess that I’ve never been so afraid
Of anything

I confess my words have become much more generic
That the fact that I don’t share them
Makes it much more apparent
That I’m useless
But I confess that I don’t care
I confess that uselessness has given new perspective – where
I once saw opportunity I now see meager dreams
I confess I was distracted by the power of a scream
Hardcore music now is as important to me as ever
But I realize now that it is their – not my – endeavor
So I’ve begun recording what I’ve always written down
I confess that I’m becoming more familiar with the sounds
That come out of my face when I have something to say

I need to run myself ragged before I feel anything

I confess that I’m useless
I confess that I’m not afraid
I confess that I’m powerless
I confess that it’s getting late

So here we are in this crowded world
Never sure what’s going to happen next
Here we are with a useless wrist wa
tch around and see
Useless means we don’t have to be
Af
raid of anything